Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Responsible: If you are considering a long-term relationship, life will go more smoothly with someone who is responsible. Those who are irresponsible are more likely to have problems maintaining healthy relationships, managing their finances, or being successful in their job. They are also often not effective at managing their emotions or communicating about difficult topics in constructive and healthy ways. Consider whether you see signs of this in your partner now and whether are you willing to accept a future with these kinds of issues.
Reliable support: Life can be hard. At those times, it is incredibly important to feel that you can rely on your partner for support. Otherwise, you will likely feel emotionally alone on life’s journey.
Shared values and interests: The intensity of your attraction to each other may keep you drawn to your partner, but you need to ask yourself whether there is more to your connection. Consider whether you have interests or values that you can share for a lifetime.
If reviewing these kinds of issues convinces you that you are no longer willing to endure the drama, then it’s time to do things differently. Relationships that have many positives might be worth saving, and couples therapy can be an effective way to make important changes. But if you decide it’s time to end your relationship, then consider making a plan to end the relationship. Think about different ways that you can help yourself through the painful process of letting go, such as:
- Setting boundaries, like no communication after the break-up
- Talking with supportive friends or family about your situation
- Planning time with friends right after you end the relationship
- Becoming more involved in activities or interests to help give you a positive focus rather than sinking into your pain.
Think about your relationship and decide where it falls between being basically healthy and being your own personal hell. Ask yourself whether you are like a moth drawn to the light of a dangerous flame. If you are, you risk getting seriously burned – or maybe you have already been burned, but keep going back anyway. Painful as it might be to do, it’s probably time to follow your mind rather than your heart. Make a commitment to yourself to end the drama, doing whatever it takes to create the life you want.
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