Couples Therapy

Evaluation and treatment overview

I believe that there are three clients in couples therapy: each partner and the relationship. You and your partner bring your own history and personality to the relationship. In addition, a new “being” is created when the two of you join together as a couple. While completing an evaluation over a few sessions, I assess each of these clients with an eye toward who needs healing and what new skills need to be learned. After the evaluation, I will tell you my assessment of your situation and explain how therapy can help. You can then decide how you want to proceed.

The need for healing

In the course of treatment, we will focus on what is hurting and needs healing in you and your partner. This is important because a healthy relationship requires two healthy people. Ask yourself, “Am I aware of personal struggles that keep me from being healthy?” For example, do you struggle with depression, low self-esteem, anger, unreasonable expectations, or being unable to forgive? Or, are you feeling stuck in negative emotions and destructive thinking? If so, then it is important to address these difficulties.

Learning new skills

Therapy will also focus on what knowledge is lacking and needs to be learned. Like everything else in life, maintaining a healthy relationship requires many skills. Examples of skills required to create and maintain a strong relationship are; problem solving as a team, effective communication, and responding in constructive ways to difficult situations.

Deciding on therapy

For couples therapy to be effective, you each must be an active participant. Are you willing to look honestly at yourself and your relationship…and to share your thoughts and feelings? Are you willing to figure out what must change and work hard to make it happen?

These changes are difficult to make, in part, because you must allow yourself to be vulnerable—to yourself, to your partner, and to me. The changes also require that you prioritize your relationship—you must find time in your busy schedule to be together, to talk together, and to think about how to heal this very important relationship.

You do not need to know before therapy starts whether you want to stay in your marriage. Deciding this is often part of the work of therapy. Deciding to enter therapy is a decision to move forward in finding what is right for you both. In the end, you will either discover how to improve your relationship together or come to realize that you must move on separate from one another.

Please note that I am not on any insurance panels, and so I am an out-of-network provider. Patients are responsible for paying my fee at the time of service. They can receive insurance reimbursements for these out-of-network services if they have out-of-network benefits. Please feel free to call me to discuss my fee and your insurance carrier to discuss any other associated costs.

Schedule an appointment today by contacting Dr. Becker-Phelps:
908-604-6363
or send a request for information