Compassionate self-awareness nurtures connection, well-being, and resilience

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

—August Wilson, American playwright

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What is compassionate self-awareness?

It’s a basic truth that people want to be happy.

It’s also a basic truth that people are social creatures, biologically wired to connect with—or attach to—others. They develop attachment styles that can facilitate or obstruct their ability to develop strong, positive relationships with themselves and others. When all goes well, they tend to experience a sense of well-being. However, when insecurity undermines emotional wellness, it can be difficult to know how to feel better. 

  • It’s a basic truth that people want to be happy. It’s also a basic truth that people are social creatures, biologically wired to connect with—or attach to—others.

    They develop attachment styles that can facilitate or obstruct their ability to develop strong, positive relationships with themselves and others. When all goes well, they tend to experience a sense of well-being. However, when insecurity undermines emotional wellness, it can be difficult to know how to feel better. 

    Because your relationship with yourself powerfully affects all your relationships, I encourage you to develop compassionate self-awareness, which means knowing your true self and relating to it with compassion. This is a powerful healing force that you develop by expanding awareness in five domains (STEAM): Sensations, Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, and Mentalizing. You can learn more about STEAM in my books The Insecure in Love Workbook and Bouncing Back from Rejection. Importantly, compassionate self-awareness is a skill you can learn. It takes time and energy and persistence, but you absolutely can do it.

    However, compassionate self-awareness is only part of the journey. Compassionate other-awareness is also essential to nurture healthy relationships with others, fulfilling our need for connection. 

    Ultimately, by connecting authentically with ourselves and others in an accepting and loving way, we create fertile ground where a sense of well-being and happiness will naturally grow. 

    Thank you for taking the time to read about compassionate self-awareness. You can learn more about it in my books, Insecure in Love, Bouncing Back from Rejection, and The Insecure in Love Workbook. Also, please check out the many free resources on my website related to nourishing emotional well-being. I hope they help you on your healing path.